To Cara know that I love you

 March is rolling to an end. Been a busy month for me. I volunteered at Galaxy Con again. Was a lot of fun. I remember the first time I was here I sent you pictures of Sombra's voice actor thinking you would think it was pretty neat since you were big in Overwatch. But you hardly said anything. Just cool and nothing else. No questions. Nothing. I guess I should have known from the way you acted towards Erin and I that you would eventually just cut us out of your life. You blame me for all these things and for the stuff that I did or didnt do. For the conversations we never had I take my blame. But I hope someday when you grown up have your own family that you realize that you made little to no effort to  be a part of our lives. I am constantly reminded that you cut me off. Not the other way around. I am constantly hoping that someday you will see both sides of things and want to talk and understand things.  You once asked me about your mom and I and I sugarcoated it and s...

 Happy Birthday to me. I did not expect anything from you. You had not really done it in the past. Here and there. It always felt like you were trying so hard to even be my kid. I dont know why you didnt want to be close. All i ever wanted to be was a good father. I tried so hard to do the right things and I guess I failed and I will go to my death bed knowing you hate me for all these bad things but you never remember any good moments. I get it though. All the bad to you in your mind it added up. And since there was such little times i had to even make it work. It was bigger and worse than if I had been around all the time. It still hurts that you did not feel we could talk about this and get an understanding. I wish maybe somedya you will understand me. Or try at least before I die.  If not than what can i do but continue to leave these notes that I love you and always think of you.