July 4th weekend

 So many weekends spent with you and Erin over the summers. My memory is not as good as it use to be. I really may have something wrong. I dont know. But I remember you and Erin the ballpark watching fireworks. I remember you two sitting with Melanie in the back of the suv one year. 

I totally remember clearly Antimony. What a great time. 

I took a bike ride today 11 miles and realized you are going to get married and prob not even invite me. I figured years ago you would not have me walk you down the aisle. But at least I figured I might be there. Now there wont even be that. 

I want to talk to you. I want to be able to say sorry but like the doctors say

"Contacting an adult who has asked for space is a good way to force them further away from you. It will also prolong the estrangement, since the request for space remains unfulfilled as long as you’re reaching out."

 I wont do that to you. I have done enough in your eyes for three lifetimes. No need to add more. When you see this and start reading through these little excerpts. No that I care and miss you. 

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