Why this blog?

 Hi Cara

Welcome to the only way I could keep talking to you. If you are reading this you were given the address by someone who has read my will or was there for it if I have died. Or you have somehow stumbled on it in some strange way via the magic of the interwebz.

You might be asking why would I do this. Well when you sent the text last week I was crushed and destroyed and hurt. But the only thing I could do was respect your wishes. So in this blog I will talk to you the only way I can. I will write the messages I would have sent or the calls I would have made. 

I may write every day or several times a day or maybe just once a week or month. Who knows what I will do. But I will put words to page because that is what I can do. And maybe someday when you see this you will understand me better. 

The next post is what I wrote the morning after you sent the text telling me in no uncertain terms to go fuck off and you never want to see me or hear from me again.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 5 .... so long

 Well its been a while. I havent typed anything. Most of life has been work and our new dog Lili. She is a lab retriever/pit bull mix. She is great.  She had to have FHO surgery. They cut her hip bone and then replace it back in the socket with a pin. it will be two weeks on Thursday.   I dont know what to say anymore Cara. I dont know if you will ever read this. I do not know if you will ever talk to me again. All I know is I love you and miss you so much. I hope Australia is treating you well. Love you Dad
Read more

50th birthday

 Happy Birthday to me. I did not expect anything from you. You had not really done it in the past. Here and there. It always felt like you were trying so hard to even be my kid. I dont know why you didnt want to be close. All i ever wanted to be was a good father. I tried so hard to do the right things and I guess I failed and I will go to my death bed knowing you hate me for all these bad things but you never remember any good moments. I get it though. All the bad to you in your mind it added up. And since there was such little times i had to even make it work. It was bigger and worse than if I had been around all the time. It still hurts that you did not feel we could talk about this and get an understanding. I wish maybe somedya you will understand me. Or try at least before I die.  If not than what can i do but continue to leave these notes that I love you and always think of you.
Read more

November Catch Up

 So last night you reached out to Erin for the first time in a few months tell her some stuff. I hope you are okay. I do not really pry into what you tell her when you talk to her. I wish I could tell you i love you and miss you and hear the same but I just know that is not the case. Work has been crazy busy and Ive been keeping at it. Last Friday I did 58 miles on the High Bridge Trail State Park. That was a lot of fun. But my old man legs are starting to pay the price for it now. Ive been watching shows and movies a lot as normal. Playing games currently on Amnesia Rebirth and Plague Tale Requiem.   I am hoping to be able to go Columbus in December for Galaxy Con to do photography again. I am also planning my big trip to Peru for my 50th birthday. I have a Passport now. Maybe someday I can see you in Australia. I would love that.  Hope you are well. Maybe next time I will have something super exciting to share. Right now does not seem like it lol
Read more