To Cara know that I love you

Hi honey It has been eight months since I last wrote anything. Wow life has changed. But you are still not part of it and that hurts still. I miss you. Wish you still wanted to be a part of my life. I wish you still wanted to be part of Erin's life. But wishing does not do anything. Just know that I love you and always will. The last eight months saw me work hard with a convention called RavenCon only to see them shit it all away so I had to leave there. I got new eyes. Yep new eyes. They put in lens that allow me to see normal without glasses its amazing. And i got hired by galaxy con and have been traveling all over. it is so much fun. The dogs are doing well. Lili is such a crazy one. I think you would like her. AJ is super sweet and you would like her too. I hope everything is going well down under and you are happy. That is all i ever wanted. was for you to be happy. Love always dad

I miss you Cara. I miss you every day. But there is nothing I can do but give you space till you want to talk to me. Erin is engaged finally. I have been doing lots of photography work. But I dont even know what to say anymore. Other than I miss you. It was not like you responded often to my texts but just knowing I could send you little things and see how things were going. Oh well, this time of year always wears me down. Someday hopefully you will understand. Love Dad

So there is so much happening. I would love to tell you all about it but. We do not talk still. I told Erin to wish you happy birthday. I found something you might like for your birthday. Erin told you about it. As i write this it is still out there trying to get to you. It cleared customs on Sept 24. So maybe one day it will get to you. I just want to tell you I love you. And will be here to talk when you want to. I know things did not go well. I just hope someday we can talk about them and understand each other more. Know that I love you always.

 I havent written in a while. You reached out to Erin again asking for our birthdays. Erin tried to talk to you, just normal stuff and you pretty much just ghosted her again. I can handle you doing it to me but i really hate how you treat her.  Im on a trip right now and all I can think of is all the fun we had on the trips. But the one thing you thought of was one fight. You always focus on the bad never the good. I know part of that is me being a bad communicator but still. Oh well. I love you and always will and I miss you.

 Well its been a while. I havent typed anything. Most of life has been work and our new dog Lili. She is a lab retriever/pit bull mix. She is great.  She had to have FHO surgery. They cut her hip bone and then replace it back in the socket with a pin. it will be two weeks on Thursday.   I dont know what to say anymore Cara. I dont know if you will ever read this. I do not know if you will ever talk to me again. All I know is I love you and miss you so much. I hope Australia is treating you well. Love you Dad

 March is rolling to an end. Been a busy month for me. I volunteered at Galaxy Con again. Was a lot of fun. I remember the first time I was here I sent you pictures of Sombra's voice actor thinking you would think it was pretty neat since you were big in Overwatch. But you hardly said anything. Just cool and nothing else. No questions. Nothing. I guess I should have known from the way you acted towards Erin and I that you would eventually just cut us out of your life. You blame me for all these things and for the stuff that I did or didnt do. For the conversations we never had I take my blame. But I hope someday when you grown up have your own family that you realize that you made little to no effort to  be a part of our lives. I am constantly reminded that you cut me off. Not the other way around. I am constantly hoping that someday you will see both sides of things and want to talk and understand things.  You once asked me about your mom and I and I sugarcoated it and s...